Welcome to Shepherd's Way Ministries

Living With The Top Down

My life changed most drastically the moment I spoke the phrase, "Living with the Top Down." Prior to that moment, I had been living inside of a structured existence of other people's making. I was a successful Federal Government employee, had a two-bedroom condo, a new car, in modest debt and unquestionably unfulfilled. I had been living out the belief system of my family. I was disconnected from God and searching for my purpose. Although I had been raised in an atmosphere where security was paramount in all career decisions, I was being led in a different direction. At the time, I didn't understand I needed to have a faith beyond anything I'd ever known to accept the life I was being drawn to; one that creates miracles and unfathomable results with every opportunity.The creation of Living with the Top Down began like every story.

Once upon a time...A man of just 48 years I began feeling alone and disconnected in the crowd. My life, though full of activities and people, was one of solitude and remorse. My hopes and dreams were of creating something exceptional, something of a higher purpose, and living a passionate, fulfilled, successful life. Although I had attended many courses and seminars on living a fulfilled life, it was the mysterious voice that spoke to me so many years ago that echoed in my heart and mind. Although I had been raised in a very religious home, it was silently unacceptable to believe I might be called to a higher purpose. Outside of the stereotypical choices in life, I was taught to reject the extraordinary, and become responsible, ordinary, mundane.I had known the call of God from a very young age. It was my unwillingness to submit to God's will that provided the opening for my family and friends to persuade me to succumb to the ordinary. Fear allowed me to accept my life as it was, but the whisper of God never let me forget He wanted me for something bigger.My awakening began in February 1993. The day began as usual. I got up, got the boys ready for church, went to church and came home. As we were raised Nazarene, I ate the traditional Nazarene meal; roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, green beans and salad. As was my usual routine, I left my parents' home for my regular walk. I had lived with my parents since my divorce two years prior, and the frustration and disappointment I was feeling was becoming overwhelming. I had learned to suppress my feelings as a means to having the situation work for me and the boys (six and eight.) Frustrated with being an adult child in my parents home, I started giving into the anger I was feeling.  I had just argued with my father; about what I can no longer remember, but do remember I was flat broke, extremely frustrated and experiencing (unbeknownst to me at the time) severe depression.  As I left the house, I tried to release the feelings as I looked forward to seeing my regulars on the path. As I reached the beginning of the path, which was just under a mile from the house, something felt very different. I noticed immediately that those people I would have met ending their walk were missing. Although it was an unusually warm day for February, the farther I walked, no one was on the path that day.I was strangely alone.Being alone, as I walked toward the half mile marker, my agitation grew to the point that I began to speak aloud.  Granted, if someone had shown up, I would have stopped, but no one did. I began cursing my life, my kids, my parents, and most of all, God. I went where most of us go when we're angry; I began to play the 'blame game.' I was blaming God for everything that was going wrong, and ignoring all the blessings. As my anger fell deeper into that dark place most of us avoid, I got bold and began asking questions of God."Why do I have to live like this?""Why can't I make enough money to get out of my parents house?""How am I supposed to have a personal life with the responsibility of the boys and my parents watching my every move?"Of course, I received no answers, because, I believe, my anger blocked any response I may have received. My frustration grew from whispered grumbles to full-out screaming. At one moment, I stopped and screamed to the heavens, "If you are really there, why won't you answer me?"Suddenly, everything around me shifted. The trees fell silent, the insects grew quiet, and my body became rigid. My eyes focused on the clouds moving slowly from left to right. At that moment, my mouth opened and a voice, clearly not mine, said, "And what would you have Me say?"Not really expecting a response, I stood in the space where God spoke, and awaited my response. To say the least, I was speechless. I had not expected God to say anything, so I said nothing. It was that moment I knew my life would change forever. My heart opened spiritually as I began to see the greater purpose of my life. I began to write poetry, short stories and began a novel. However, deep down inside I knew I was supposed to write God's book. The title was clearly spoken, God Speaks. As was the pattern of my life, I resisted this conversation, as well as many other, for many years, and other books were written in the name of God. Conversations with God came out a year after my experience. I gave up my chance to be on the leading edge of the spiritual book craze, and buried my head in the sand once more.I lived my life within the confines of 'doing the right thing,' and my self-imposed depression grew. As I saw my life imploding, I chose to change my life. The circumstances which lead me to my current life are remarkable, extraordinary and almost comical.In November 2005, I had a planned trip to Los Angeles. I landed in California, and was planning on spending the first week with my cousin in LA and the second with my cousin in Thousand Oaks. The Team, Management & Leadership conference I was attending fell on the weekend between the two visits. During the first week, I received a call from my boss asking me to return a week early because there had been a lay-off, and my contemporary had been let go.I told her I was not returning, so I was immediately placed on Absent Without Leave [AWOL.] The moment I heard that, I knew I had to make a change. What was planned as a trip to relax and reconnect became a time of planning and confirmation. I told my cousin when she came home from work that I was moving to California. She smiled, as she had heard this before, and said she would like that.As was my habit, I had rented a convertible, but the first week was dank and cloudy. I attended the conference on the weekend and made my way to Thousand Oaks. The second week was warm and sunny. While my cousin was at work, I got in the car and drove to Malibu. I fell in love with the atmosphere. After driving the PCH every day that week, I decided I was moving to Malibu.Upon my return home, I began telling people about my plan. Again, they had heard this before, so they listened to me as I talked about it for a couple of weeks, then my dream ended up in the nether world of everyone's listening. However, it was around Thanksgiving that my passion became reborn. As I was traveling home from a gathering, my friend, Natalie and I were discussing the plan and how it would manifest. I started telling her about how it all happened and then I said, ‘I want to live with the Top Down.’ I stopped and looked at her. I could see that this statement really touched her. At that moment, my mantra became Living with the Top Down.From that point forward, the process went as follows:•        I told the people at work that I was moving,•        I began to plan my move to California,•        I started to think about how I might support myself.The people at work didn’t believe me. My cousins, within several weeks of my return, said they were planning on moving away from California. I kept looking for jobs and found that California offered only what I was leaving. I opened myself up further and realized that it wasn’t Malibu I was interested in, but the living at the beach. I had always wanted to live on the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I began to consider moving there. After more about the Outer Banks, I realized that it would be a great place to live during the summer, but during the winter, the place was devoid of activity.Yes, I wanted some solitude, but I didn’t want to become a hermit.During a reading, someone mentioned Wilmington, NC. During the next three readings, each client mentioned Wilmington is some way. I began researching Wilmington and found that it was a large enough community so I wouldn’t miss the hubbub of Washington, DC, and it would have the culture I had come to expect in the DC environment.In November 2005, I began my journey from ordinary to extraordinary by declaring my intention to move from my home of over twenty years to my dream location, the beach.  I researched my locations, and was drawn to Oak Island, North Carolina.  With a passion unlike any I'd ever experienced, I moved to Oak Island on June 16, 2006, and began living my dream, and creating unprecedented opportunities.  I began to feel compelled to do something bigger than I know myself to be.  What I mean by this is that I have a mission in this life that will alter the world in which I am connected.  This could be through my local community, state, country, and/or the world as a whole.  It is this journey that I am now enjoying.The culmination of my search exploded when I found a reasonably priced condo four blocks from the beach available in the time frame in which I was looking. In March 2006, I gave my notice to the Feds, and on June the 1st, I moved to Oak Island, NC. I reveled in the daily walks along the seashore, writing my first novel, creating a life full of love and laughter, and living fully with freedom and ease.Having a fulfilled life is yours for the taking, all you need to do to create the life you want is declare it to everyone who will listen.I began my journey to fulfillment by creating a mantra, 'Living with the Top Down.' This came from a dream of living at the beach and driving a convertible. However, when I began sharing the mantra, it took on a life of its own. My life changed forever once I started sharing with others. I found that people want you to have what you want, because it gives them hope toward the future they want.I have a sign above my desk that says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” That thought process that has brought me to the fulfillment of my own personal dream, and by creating a company with a commitment to the fulfillment of others.Creating Oak Island Publications began at a tumultuous moment in my life. I worked for the Federal Government and knew there was more to me than pushing papers and going to meetings. I had planned a two-week vacation to California. This trip encompassed visits with my family and attending a conference with Landmark Education. I created Oak Island Publications prior to the completion of God Speaks with one thing in mind; making a difference in the world through open and honest communication.As a blessed being, I feel my blessings come from my ability to find love and generosity in almost every situation. Through the good times, and the bad, I have discovered who I am, while learning from the challenges and embracing the successes. I am committed to making a difference in the world through authentic conversation, and fully expressing myself through my two passions: God and writing.Inside this commitment, I search for where things are out of alignment in my life and work with my team (Masha Calloway and Valerie Paz) to get to the bottom of the mischief, and  turn things around. During my weekly discussions with my team, I look at every situation as an opportunity to create my choices.Personally, I choose to take a daily inventory of my life, and if joy and abundance is missing, it is obviously missing in the world. Once I see what is missing, I put it in place and re-commit to having joy and abundance in every aspect of my life, and, therefore, empowering the world with joy and abundance. The power of being accountable and responsible is the most important aspect of integrity in life. When I am fully connected to the love and acceptance in my life, I find my bliss. However, when I examine my life, and find something missing, I challenge myself to deal with things as they come up instead of stuffing them deep into the 'food addiction' place.With all those aspects,  you'd think I would be done. However, I am far from complete. What I am is not as important as who I am. Those two little words, I AM, are the most powerful in all the world. For any words that follow those two create the world in which I live.  Just imagine being responsible for the words you speak. Granted, most believe they are being responsible when they speak, but it is the idle chatter that leads to conversations that interrupt the I AM conversation.I am committed that everyone live a life they love.  Living a life that you love comes from declaring what will be and then being the declaration in the world. It is the words that come out of our mouth which create the world in which we live.If you are committed listening to hate and violence, then hate and violence are welcome in your life. However, commitment to love and nurturing creates a world of love and nurturing.  I did not come upon this thought process overnight. I have been very fortunate to have been a part of Landmark Education (LE).  It is through my course work with LE, and deep introspection into my past and present, that I have been able to acknowledge who I AM, and design the future I am stepping into.I would love to share my personal experiences with you as I uncovered my personal commitment through self-discovery and total acceptance of the past.  My personal history is similar to many others. However, I have a gift that offers me the opportunity to speak with God in a unique and powerful way.I created Top Down with one thing in mind; making a difference in the world through open and honest communication. Having a fulfilled life is yours for the taking, all you need to do to create the life you want is declare it to everyone who will listen.I began my journey to fulfillment by creating a mantra, 'Living with the Top Down.' This came from a dream of living at the beach and driving a convertible. However, when I began sharing the mantra, it took on a life of its own. It became living a life full of love and laughter, creating fully with freedom and ease.My life changed forever once I started sharing with others. I found that people want you to have what you want, because it gives them hope toward the future they want. I was given multiple chances to fulfill upon my purpose. It wasn't until I found my place in the world, and my place on the beach, that I was open and available for God to speak His Words to me.  I submitted to His Will, and wrote God Speaks - A Dialogue in one day...my 49th birthday.It was at that moment that daily experiences altered both my personal and spiritual journey.  Within the spiritual journey, I found another aspect of God's grace through accepting my intuitive ability. Out of fear, I had suppressed my relationship with God.  I acknowledged my abilities and began sharing what I can, and using these amazing gifts to the betterment of humankind.